I’m Solo-Poly: No Relationship Escalator for Me

When most people talk about romantic relationships they usually mean something like this the following: Relationship Escalator. The default set of societal expectations for intimate relationships. Partners follow a progressive set of steps, each with visible markers, toward a clear goal. The goal at the top of the Escalator is to achieve a permanently monogamous (sexually…

Happily Mental

I am sitting in a lovely Italian bistro- a glass of Argentinian Malbec at hand (hey I am in South America- of course, the wine is South American even if the food is Italian!) with my laptop open, writing. This alone feels like a miracle.  I haven’t written anything outside of work stuff (and even…

Back Again, in Medellin

Flying the short distance from Bogota to Medellin, I am reminded once again how incredibly mountainous and empty this country is. The rugged landscape spreads below me partly under the clouds, partly peeking out through them. I have been thinking about the city, the small tienditas, the panaderias, the people sitting outside the drinks shop…

The Price of Admission

After a long discussion and sharing STI testing status (I just got my next round of tests this week) my latest beau and I decided not to use condoms together. The only thing I didn’t think about was where exactly I was in my cycle when we made that decision. Ooops! So this week, waiting…

Manipulation in Medellin

It’s not uncommon these days, to read about women who are victims of manipulation or gaslighting. People they love who claim to love them, try to manipulate them into believing that they are a bit crazy, that they’ve lost all perspective. Sometimes I can see elements of this type of manipulation in my relationship with…